It's almost Valentines day. A lot of people don't really do anything special on valentines day. Some people hate the holiday because it makes them feel lonely. Others don't understand why it even is a holiday.
You don't have to love the holiday or even celebrate it. But in this blog post I just want to give you some fun ideas you can use this valentines day to have fun and love others the way God calls us to.
The Right Attitude towards Valentines Day:
Valentines day is a day when people celebrate love, specifically when a couple celelbrates their romantic love for one another. But it's not always celebrated between only couples. Lots of friends, especially young kids, exchange cards and candy. Once people get to be in their late teen and young adult years Valentines can be a hard day if they are single. They see everyone else with their Valentine's date going out for a romantic dinner and getting chocolates and roses. It can make people feel lonely. Or they can have another wrong approach were they have anger or hate for others and think that they are self-sufficient. They might think they are better on their own, and it's best to be independant.
There's a few wrong approaches to this holiday that I want to highlight and then counter those ideas with Biblical truths.
Wrong idea number 1:
Love is about romance, infatuation, and feelings.
Truth: Love is an action. Love is steadfast, unconditional, and selfless. It doesn't change when the other person doesn't love you back. And it never ends. Love is eternal. Faith, hope, and love are all important, but, as we learn from 1 Corinthians 13:13, "the greatest of these is love." Love is the greatest because it never ends. (1 Cor. 13:8) Faith will one day be turned to sight. Hope will one day be fulfilled. But love will go on and on forever. (See Faith Hope Love song by the Foto Sisters) When we truly celebrate love, we are not celebrating an emotional state. We're not celebrating the pleasure we feel when others treat us exactly the way we want to be treated. We are celebrating love the way God defines it. 1 John 4:10 says, "In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins." Romans 8:31-39 says, "What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died - more than that, who was raised - who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, "For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." And Romans 5:8 says, "but God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." God-defined love is selfless, sacrificial, giving, unending, unconditional, and amazing! It is a choice and an action. There may be emotions that come along with it, but love is not lead or defined by our feelings.
Wrong idea number 2:
I can have a romantic relationship with whoever I want.
Truth: God created us as male and female from the very beginning. Especially in our world today it is popular and widely accepted to "follow your heart" and believe that "love is love." As a result, people choose to live together before marriage, cheat on their spouse, date from a very young age, change their gender identity, or date someone of the same gender becasue of their feelings. But, as we have already discussed, love is not a feeling and we must not be lead by our emotions. God created us to be relational and sexual beings, but to live that out within His beautiful and perfect design. Make wise and godly decisions about your relationships and don't let the world or your emotions lead you in making those decisions. Go to God and His word. [I have a blog post on how we can embrace the gender God has made us for His glory! You can read that by clicking HERE!]
Wrong idea number 3:
I am self-sufficeint and I am better when I am single and independant
Truth: It is by no means wrong to be single, or even to enjoy being single. But it is important to realize that God created us to be dependant on Him. And He also created us to depend on one another. Some level of independance is good. But it is also important to remain humble, seek counsel and accountability from others, and acknowledge our need for God. It is important and essential to surrender our lives to God instead of taking control for ourselves. And it is important to find our satisfaction in God. Not in ourselves, the world, or anyone else. God is the only one who can and will ALWAYS remail faithful. People change and fail us. But God is constand and steadfast. We must humbly acknowledge our need for Him, for His strength, and for His grace. And we must remember that He created us for community. He created us to help and to build up one another. Vulnerability is often saw as weakness and we are instead taught to be independant and self-sufficeint; but we need to remember that God calls us to share our struggles with one another for the benefit of the church being built up. So, you can definitely enjoy singleness and use it for God's glory, but don't use it as an excuse to push others away and try to become self-sufficeint, because has a better purpose for you.
Wrong idea number 4:
My life sucks because I am single/lonely.
Truth: You cannot base your value on your relationship status. You are worth so much more than that! Lonliness is hard, but it doesn't define you. You must let God, your Creator and Savior and faithful Friend, define you! If you choose to find and place your identity in Him, if you choose to abide in Christ, then, and only then, your value will be secure forever. No one and nothing can add or take away from your value. You are complete in Christ. God has a plan and a purpose for your life, and He be using this season of singleness or lonliness in so many good ways you might not even see! Let Him work in you and through you. He can see the bigger picture and He knows what He is doing. It might be hard, but God can refine you. The process of refining can be painful, but in the end it is oh so worth it!
Who should we love?
Mark 12:30-31 says, "And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these."
Deuteronomy 6:5 says, "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."
Leviticus 19:18 says, "You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD."
And Romans 13:8-10 says, "Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet," and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is fulfilling the law."
Who are we called to love? First and foremost, God. But we are also called to love our neighbor, which doesn't just mean those who live in our neighborhood, but anyone and everyone with whom we cross paths (including our enemies - Luke 6:26, Romans 12:14, Romans 12:19-20).
How are we to love? With our whole heart, soul, mind, and strength, which means we are to intentionally make a choice to love God and others always. We need to love selflessly, not putting ourselves first. We also need to love genuinely and sincerely. We need to have authentic love and not just fake it. God knows our hearts, and He will hold us accountable if we choose to pretend to love others but not truly love in our hearts. (See Romans 12:9)
Why must we love others? #1. Because God calls us to
# 2. Because God has so freely given His love to us
#3. Because love "knits" the church together in love despite our differences and brings us unity
#4. Because love does no wrong, but instead fulfills the law
#5. Because that is one way that we shine as lights for Christ in this world
So now we know what attitude we should have as we approach this holiday. We know what love, real love, looks like. We know that love is steadfast, unconditional, selfless, genuine, sincere, seeking the good of others, and sacrificial. We know we are called to "love the Lord (our) God with all our" heart, soul, mind, and strength. We know we must "love our neighbor as ourself." And we know we must even love our enemies. Now I'm going to give you some fun and practical ideas for you to celebrate and display God's love this Valentines day (and any day!).
Idea number 1: Show others you care!
Send a friend a letter, host someone for dinner, get gifts for your single friends. There are multiple ways you can show your friends how much you care for them!
As discussed before, love is a choice and an action. So show others you love them. Take action! Think about what makes your freind(s) feel special and valuable and take the time, energy, and/or money to invest into showing them that you care! Whether it's for your mom, your friend, a group of friends, your spouse, your mentor, show the people in your life that you love them. And show them that you love them with God-defined love by loving them even when they don't love you back, choosing to put their needs before your own, serving them and meeting any needs they have, and showing them compassion (consideration) and kindness (action on that consideration).
Idea number 2: Host a party!
Invite a group of people over and show them the love of Christ! This is a wonderful way to practice Christ-like love and hospitality. You can do any number of things for your party, and have any number of themes. Here are some ideas:
Galentines party (a party for your girl friends)
Board game night
Tea party
A kids craft night (you could even do this as a way to babysit for couples so they can go out on valentines)
A dinner by candle light for the couples at your church (you can be their server!)
A singles party (invite the single people you know to play games, have snacks, and maybe even do a Bible study, instead of everyone staying home and feeling depressed that they don't have a valentine date)
Idea number 3: Host a Bible study!
Invite people over for a Bible study on love. Have everyone bring their Bibles. You could sing some hymns and worship songs on love and then study the Bible together. (If you are going to be leading the study, be sure to invite people who you can lead/teach. If you're a teenage girl, invite younger girls or other teenage girls over. If you're a young adult, invite teens over. Keep in mind that typically men are suppose to be the leaders, but it isn't wrong for women to teach other women (Titus 2 actually tells us to do that!) or for women to teach younger children.) You could pick a certain book, chapter, passage, or verse to really study or discuss. Or you could pick a theme and then dive into different passages about that (like God's love for us, how Christ displayed His love, how we can practically love others, how we are supposed to love God, etc..)
I hope all these ideas are helpful to you!
Sincerely wishing you a happy valentines day!
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